Me: Hey, I've been looking for soap in the grocery store for 10 minutes and I can't find any!
FDA employee: Hello sir. That's because we don't let the producers call it soap.
Me: So what do they call it?
FDA employee: a "beauty bar"
Me: So a beauty bar is just soap?
FDA employee: Not really. FDA recognizes soap through the traditional soapmaking process of combining Lye with fat or oils and water. Through this process these ingredients are transformed into soap containing natural glycerin and no lye remains. This is a simple explanation of the saponification process.
Me: And that's not what my soap is?
FDA employee: No, it's a beauty bar.
Me: But when I google what a beauty bar is, I get all these weird spa-like salons. Nobody tells me it's what I'm looking for.
FDA employee: Well I'm sorry sir. We don't own google.
Me: But you do have access to the normal use of words. When I say soap, I mean that bar I take into the shower with me and wash my body with.
FDA employee: But that's not the technical meaning of soap.
Me: I'm not a scientist, I'm a consumer
FDA employee: As the FDA, we have an obligation to make sure you're not taken advantage of. So we need to have precise definitions.
Me: To make sure I'm not taken advantage of because of confusion.
FDA employee: Exactly.
